i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
