Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
