community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
