i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
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Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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