bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
