"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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