Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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