She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
