508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
