btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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