Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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