Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
