went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
