Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
