I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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