The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
