Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
