I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
