he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
