As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
