I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
