A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
