but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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