I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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