If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
