It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
