you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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