Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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