we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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