I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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