i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My ass is underappreciated
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
