I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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