Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
