It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
