I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
