Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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