let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
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Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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