I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
