I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
