shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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