Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
