It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
