very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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