Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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