Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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