My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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