So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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