I wanna bring you to show and tell
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
