Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
