she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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