Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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