I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize