Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
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You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Come on in and take your pants off
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize