Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
