I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
