I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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