I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
