Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
